They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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