My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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