Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
