Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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