the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
