I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
