Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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