gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
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I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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