hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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