i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
love makes seman taste better
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
