can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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