Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The best revenge is premature balding
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
