hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
can u get pink eye on your cock?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
