i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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