Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
