there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am mentally ready for anal.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
