I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize