Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
