you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
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