respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just sucked dick on a ferry
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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