just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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