somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize