i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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