i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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