I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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