i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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