you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
