Non-Jews are for practice
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
