speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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