Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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