Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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