This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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