Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize