just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
