I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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