Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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