I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
