I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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