shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
