I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
