She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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