how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
