i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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