Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
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He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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