Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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