he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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