Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
