We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
