i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
