Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
