I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it's great music for shaving your balls
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
