I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Shame is for Republicans.
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