I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
