i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize