turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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