What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
