I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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