my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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