I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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