therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
