her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize