Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
