is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize