Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
