May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
