my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Who died my cat blue again?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
