Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
