the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
