Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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