$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
