just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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